WISHING TO BE ALONE

Let me to be alone, Let me to cry.

Don't give any hopes, I don't wanna fly.

Let me learn to love my loneliness,

Just leave me alone to carry the darkness in myself.

Before any Love, I was too shy,

You held my hand, and taught me to fly.

The supporting hand, I thought to be of a friend.

When I fall in Love, I never understand.

You liked someone else, Never said It was your Love.

Had I known, I would have never dared.

Your presence brought a Hope in Life.

Finally you left, And made me to cry.

Leave me please, Just Leave me alone.

Don't show any more care, Don't turn me weak.

Don't make me feel, You miss me anytime,

Don't give me any hopes, Just Leave me alone.

Let me to be alone, Let me to cry.

Don't give any hopes, I don't wanna fly.

Let me learn to love my loneliness,

Just leave me alone to carry the darkness in myself.

Disappointment

Stellar skies , a crystal dawn

liquid rays, heralding morn.

dewdrops graze,sharp green blades ,

an ecological maze

as illusion fades.

if only all i had imagined would come true

is this what i deserve, is it my due?

how could i have glorified my self

when i'm just another reject on the shelf

insignificant , inconsequential

was that all i was meant to be?

where will this introspection lead?

will it my morbid curiosity feed?do i have the guts 

to take this to the end

wrestle it out and my soul defend?

or will the fearful snake inside

blindly accept me as bonafide?

and when you're in charge

you're on nobody's dole

so is it about who's in control?

and was that how it was meant to be

when they said that man was born free?

you - my best friend

I still remember the first day we met
We were too shy to say much at all
It's funny to think back to that time
Because now we're having a ball!

They say that true friendship is rare
An adage that I believe to be true
Genuine friendship is something that I cherish
I am so lucky to have met you.

Our bond is extremely special
It is unique in it's own way
We have something irreplaceable 
I love you more and more each day.

We've been through so much together
In so little time we've shared 
I will never forget all the moments
that you've shown me how much you cared.

Friends are forever
Especially the bond that you and I possess
I love your fun-filled personality
Somehow you never fail to impress.

The world could use more people like you
it would certainly be a better place
I love everything about you
You are someone I could never replace.

You are always there for me
When my spirits need a little lift
I cannot thank you enough for that
You are truly an extraordinary gift.

You are everything to me and more
I could never express that enough
Life is such a treacherous journey, and
Without you it would be even more tough.

Our story will continue to grow
With each passing day
Because I trust that with you by my side
Everything will always be Okay.

You are so dear to me
You know I will love you until the end
I will always be there for you, and
You will always (and forever) be my best friend.

Iktara - Wake up sid (Wid Lyrics)

silence strikes more den being loud

I may look calm, I may look composed 
But I am screaming inside, from guilt and remorse
Because I always kept quiet when things were going wrong
I showed all my weaknesses when I should’ve been strong
It’s my silence that kills/ it’s my silence that fills/ the void for me
Because I never tell what I feel about
When my temper rises I start to shout 
I keep my silence because I don’t want to bother 
The people around/ I would kill myself rather
I feel the sorrow eating me up inside
But I’ll keep my silence, and I’ll keep the tears aside
My grievances prick my heart, making me bleed 
But I don’t show it, because I know that people don’t care and they have to feed/
Their own wants and their needs
I don’t want any support from them 
I’m silent when I’m awake, but I scream during my REM
My senses tell me to let the tears fall or they will freeze inside making the heart numb
But I can’t express myself to anyone, so I have to be dumb
God, give me the power to remain silent
Give me the power to keep the volcano inside me dormant
Because my frustration will make it to erupt
And the fire will burn and sacrifice people without clearing their doubts (about life)
The world will live till the day I can keep my silence
When it breaks, the seal will be broken and demons will create menace
My massive anger can destroy generations to come
If I let it out, people may never see the rising sun
God, Help me save the world from my anger 
Save it from massive annihilation
Send someone to calm me down 
Or take me away by making me drown 
And make me silent forever
This silence will be better than ever
Because sometimes silence says it all without a single word spoken
So make me silent, without a single piece broken.

a poem for my best frnd , my teddy bear

hmmm so funny naa my best frnd is my teddy bear a large brown one which was gifted by my frnds on my 16th birthday 
hmmm they knew dat i loved teddy bears n they gifted me that it is really soft
and i share every happiness nd sorrows with him
do u know why is he my best frnd?as he never asks me anything he never complains , i tell him everything in my heart and he never scolds me
just listens to me and reply with a smile i feel so contented talking 2 him and when i m really sad i hug him and he is always ready for that soft hug never says no dont i will hug u afterwards
hmmm love u my teddy bear
so i m writing a poem for my teddy bear today

Teddy, I've been bad again, my mommy told me so;
I'm not quite sure what I did wrong, but I thought that you might know.
When I woke up this morning, I knew that she was mad;
Cause she was crying awful hard, and yelling at my dad.
I tried my best to be real good, and do just what she said;
I cleaned my room all by myself, I even made my bed.
But I spilled milk on my good shirt, when she yelled at me to hurry;
And I guess she didn't hear me, when I told her I was sorry.
Cause she hit me awful hard, you see, and called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad, and I should be ashamed!
When I said, "I love you, Mommy," I guess she didn't understand;
Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth, or I'd get smacked again.
So I came up here to talk to you, please tell me what to do;
Cause I really love my Mommy, and I know she loves me, too.
And I don't think my Mommy means to hit me quite so hard;
I guess sometimes, grown ups forget how really big they are!
So Teddy, I wish you were real, and you weren't just a bear;
Then you could help me find a way, to tell Mommies everywhere.
To please try hard to understand, how sad it makes us feel;
Cause the outside pain soon goes away, but the inside never heals!
And if we could make them listen, maybe then they'd understand,
So other children just like me, wouldn't have to hurt again.
But for now, I guess I'll hold you tight, and pretend the pain's not there;
I know you'd never hurt me, so goodnight, Teddy Bear!

5th of may,2006 , a mark in my life proving i m a fapsian

the day which will be in my memory
whole day starts like this , 
my dad had to go for really important tender to bikaner and he left early in the morning at 5 am from home to the bikaner tender house
and i was feeling heavy and my head was hurting like hell
so mom just massaged my head and told me to sleep for one hour so that i get up at 6 and get ready for school

when mom tried to make me wake up at 6 i told her i dont wish to go to school 

but for the first time she sent me to the school and for the first time in my school life i cried while going to the school that i didnt wished to go

do u knw what was the reason behind it our teacher mrs kumar mam has told us to complete and bring the hindi activity book and as i couldnt complete it i was afraid of he scolding ans so i didnt wish to go to school

but surprisingly i didnt got the scolding and for the  first time on that day i sat with heer normally i used to sit with riya or aisha n
heer used to sit only with shweta

but for the first time i sat with her and we shared many things (girls talk) with each other

hmmm it was an awesome day till our break period bell rang

we had to go down in our break in the ground

n so we all were in the school ground

i ,riya , heer n shweta used to eat together hmmm but that day i didnt felt to eat anything but my friend heer gave me two eclairs n i ate that 
hmmm i love choclates :)

then the bell rang we arranged respectively according 2 our classes
hmmm being i n shweta were d tallest in the girls we were the last ones in girls line n
after us the boys line used to start that day rachit was the first one to start the boys line and being shweta didnt liked him much

she told me that can u please stand back of me n i refused

hmmmm then our line moved n we heard a breaking glass sound i thought that any glass would have fallen down in the canteen area 

then our new headboy vidyut just shouted "shit"

and i saw a broken peice of glass near me 

i just wished in my heart "thank god i was not hurt"
how dumb i m
i couldnt feel the pain in my hand which was profusely bleeding

then they just wrapped my hand with an hanky and lead me to the first aid room holding me i had lost half of my senses

i knew my class would be so disturbed as we loved each  other alot

hmmm the first aid teacher told that it has been badly cut and it was hurting me alot 

so i had to rushed to the hospital s blood did not stopped

hmmmm they took my home's number to call my parents

n i started crying

because i knew that my mom would be sleeping and dad is not at home 

she will not be able to withstand this news she will really lose her senses

i got worried for home

that time sonia mam( our maths teacher) just to make me smile said that i m looking like red riding hood

hmmm then 

alka fauz mam(our computer teacher)took me to the hospital

hmmm we arrived at moolchand hospital they took me the emergency room

the doctors checked n said thank god the vein has not been cut but 4 tendons has been cut n i have lost the sensitivity in my thumb 

hmmm they had to do an operation n so the needed my parents as soon they can to sign the formality papers

hmmm then my mom came and she was really tensed 

the most funny part of all dis situation was when my brother arrived at the hospital

i never knew dat he loved me so much

his questions shoot out to me i dint got a second to answer it n after his questions stopped he started crying badly n i was not allowed to cry as it could cause me dehydration

hmmm then they shifted me to the room and my body told me after half an hour dat i m suffering from fever

 then i wastakem to the operating room at around 4 pm
n it was just because i didnt ate anything whole day n so the operation took early
(hehehe see my frnds who always scold me for eating my not eating habit was an advantage for me here)
then d operation ran for around 4 hrs i dont knw what happened at the operation table
i did not hv senses i was given aneasthesia before it
hmmm i came out around 8:30
but my mom was not there 2 recieve me instead alka mam was there
my mom had to go to home to bring my , akshat's n her's clothes
so u wud be thinking that why akshat's clothes
hmm akshat had to go to alka mam's home as we cant leave him alone at home
so as a patient the really tasteless food i ate in d hospital from alka mam's hand
only sweet was left so that my mom can feed from her hand too n rachika my really gud frnd send sandwiches for me n my mom
i really loved itthat was  donly thing which i loved eating that night
next day around 11 sum of my frnds visiited me hmm charu , himani , chander , rachit n ramiz
i knw my other frnds was to visit me too but they thought that the visiting hours r closed
i knw they really cared 4 me alot
hmmm then  came at home around 3
this was how i was bandaged for 35 days by my doctor uncle who was also really caring n i was strictly said dat i dont hv give nay pressure on my thumb dat time not even a little pressure